Let’s face it. When it comes to being a parent, mothers usually get top billing. This, however, may be changing.
Eight years ago, on the night before Father’s Day in Saint Paul, Minnesota, John Francis invited some of his fellow dads and friends over to his newly-built garage in order to spend some quality “guy time” together. Little did he know that his low-key gathering – celebrating male camaraderie with some beer, chips, cigars – would turn into an annual international holiday called Fathers Eve ®.
Fathers Eve events have now been held in 42 cities, including in the United Kingdom, Costa Rica and Canada. Across the United States, dads have gathered at private residences, restaurants, pubs, businesses and celebrated together with an 8pm toast to all dads. In St. Paul, the attendance increased so much that the event had to be moved to a local bar and grill for a night of food, music, raffles, cigar rolling, and games such as hammerschlagen (a contest in which nails are driven into a log), along with “manly” door prizes such as coolers, grills and tickets to sports events.
Fathers Eve gives dads a chance to network with each other. They learn and pass along parenting techniques, give and get good advice, share “dad” stories and meet new people. According to John Francis, “The greatest part of the (Fathers Eve) event is connecting guys that didn’t know each other before, but left the event as friends.” And you do not have to be a traditional dad to join in the festivities; the goal is that everyone – including single dads, stepfathers, grandfathers, fathers-to-be, at-home dads, any father-figure – engages with someone who has similar fears and struggles, as well as those who have overcome these hurdles.
The holiday is not just an excuse for dads to connect and bond; it is also about doing good for the community. Fathers Eve events have raised over $27,000 in the past three years for non-profit organizations that provide support and advocate for fathers, no matter what their circumstances. The charities include: The Father Project of Twin Cities, Minnesota which helps fathers support their families not only economically, but also emotionally; the Movember Foundation that encourages men globally to grow facial hair during the month of November in order to raise funds and awareness for mental health problems, prostate cancer and testicular cancer; the National At-Home Dad Network which assists and educates dads who are the primary caregivers for their children; and the St. Paul-based Serving Our Troops which focuses on active-duty military personnel and hosts an annual steak dinner where soldiers and their families can speak to each other through a live online video chat.
The impact that Fathers Eve is making means the world to John Francis. A father of two daughters, he lost his own father to cancer in 1994, and three years later, a car crash claimed the life of his brother. These tragic losses made John Francis realize that while male friendships are significant, there is also a need for men to build an effective support system and to help guide each other through parenting challenges. As John Francis said, “They (his father and brother) died before I was even married… years later, I’ve got dad issues. I’ve learned to lean on my buddies.”
Fathers Eve is not meant to take away from Father’s Day, when the celebrations are more family-focused. On Fathers Eve, the emphasis is on all types of dads joining together in a positive, fun-filled, but relaxing environment. They can comfortably share ideas and experiences, may realize areas of self-improvement and have the ability to discuss what it entails to be a better dad. This not only helps the father figures, but in a ripple-effect, it is passed on to everyone in their lives.
How To Support Fathers Eve 2018
- Sign up at the Fathers Eve website to attend, host or sponsor a Fathers Eve event this year.
- Spread the word; share this story on your social media and follow Fathers Eve on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Google+, YouTube and LinkedIn.
- In addition to celebrating the special Dads in your life this Father’s Day, why not encourage them to attend a Fathers Eve event? If there are none local, you can help them host their own Fathers Eve festivities.